Monday, August 27, 2012

Step Zero Point Five, My first meeting

I went to my first Overeater's Anonymous (OA) meeting on 8/20/12.  I was so eager all day, but as the time of the meeting grew closer, I started to panic.  Doubt began to rise up inside me, a million questions rushed to my head.  Who would be there?  How many?  What would they look like?  Will I be the biggest one?  Will they accept me?  What do they talk about?  Will I have to speak?  I'm a crier, what if I cry in front of strangers?  My mind was reeling and I had to fight back the tears of self pity - how had I ALLOWED myself to get to this point?  How had my disease gotten THIS bad?  I went through my favorite drive-thru on my way to the meeting, I had plenty of time to binge my worries away.  Yes - on my way to an OA meeting I did the very thing I was going to the meeting for!  Insanity!  

The meeting was being held at a member's home and from the moment I stepped out of my car, I knew I was in the right place.  I had no more than shut my car door and already two warm smiles greeted me, eager to welcome a new face.  When I got inside, I was greeted by even more smiles, words of welcome and even a comforting hug from the hostess.  The home was cozy, we sat in a circle around the room, all in various chairs and couches.  I chose a seat closest to the two members who greeted me in the driveway. I took a deep breath and I knew in that moment that my worries and fears were behind me.

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